jane_and.the_dragon

     Have you ever noticed how people think you are great when you are agreeing with them, but as soon as you have a different opinion they get mad at you?   At the risk of sounding immodest I am very intuitive, and because of this many of my friends look to me to help mediate disagreements with other friends.   I also have the ability to see everyone's point of view at one time.   This is usually very useful when you are trying to get people to see eye to eye.   I also have some empathic psychic abilities and that is both a blessing and a curse as I sometimes become lost in someone else's emotions.  

     I have recently found myself in a place I would rather not be.   Now I need to find a way to  take myself out of this situation as one of the people involved is not wiling to listen to reason.   I have found from past experience that when someone has closed their mind to new ideas there is no way to make them see the truth.   At that point it is best to just step aside and let the pieces fall where they may.   As long as you agree with people they are willing to listen, but when you tell them the truth they hate that and shut their ears off.

     I think one of the biggest enemies of the truth is human emotions.   When emotions come into play people's vision becomes clouded and they no longer see the truth.   If this does not make any sense to you it could be because it is too deep or it could be because I am writing it in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. lol  

     I had a really bad day yesterday I sure hope today is better.   If it is not I may go back to bed and stay there till tomorrow lol

     Most of us have at least 1 special needs person in our lives.   People that through no fault of their own have some form of special needs.    It could be a learning disability or a physical or a mental one.   People that you need a little more patience and understanding with.   I have several of these people in my life and I myself have a health issue so I am more understanding and caring to most of the people that have a harder road in life.   But sometimes even those of us with more patience meet our breaking point.   I have a friend that has a learning disability and he also has obsessive compulsive disorder.   I myself have a little of that so I try to be understanding with people who have it, but lately he is making me insane with the constant repetition  of subjects I have told him to let go.    We have another friend that I love a lot, and lately he has been bringing up subjects he knows dang well will set our other friends ocd off.   I have walked out on conversations with them both before because I could not stand it anymore.   My hair is getting grey and I told someone last night I was ready to pull my grey hair out because they were making me nuts.   The way I see it is if I did not make jokes I really would lose my mind.  

     I am just a little worried if they keep irritating me that they may get to see a side of me NO ONE wants to see not even me.   I have a dark mean side that I keep very well under control most of the time.   It was not always that way though at one time I used to let my mean side out on anyone that annoyed me.   I grew older and wiser and realized that was not the best way to handle a problem.   The thing is most of the ways I would resolve a problem are not working now, and I am only human.   I do have a breaking point and I am approaching it lately.

     Because of things beyond our control I have had to take on a roll with which I am not comfortable nor am I well suited for it.   This is adding more stress to my life.   It does not help that I have had problems contacting the people that really should be filling the roll I am not in.   I know it is not their fault they can not be here at this time I just wish they would learn to answer their bloody phone!   It is so frustrating to try to call and get a recording saying they have a voice mail that has not been set up yet.   I have tried for 2 days to call and no answer.   That does not help my stress level.

     My biggest problem is I have too heightened senses of duty and honor and responsibility and loyalty.   If my feelings on these things were not so high I would have walked away from all this stuff a while ago.   At times I feel like I am head mistress at a day care for 4 year olds.   My life would be so much easier if everyone would just grow up and act like adults instead of acting like spoiled kids.  

     I have 3 people in my net life and 3 more in my real life if not for these 6 people I would have melted down weeks ago.   I thank God every day for the people that help keep me anchored so I do not explode.   Three of them are a big help with the net issues and the other 3 make me feel loved in my real world    It is good to have friends you can count on.   We should all try to be a friend that can be counted on in hard times.   I try to be that person, but sometimes because of my own issues I fall a little short of the mark.

     Another friend who has not been nearly as helpful told me I should just take time off.   I told her I could not do that people are counting on me to keep this stuff running till the owners get back, and I take commitments very seriously,   Do not think the thought of just turning off the computer and walking away from the net would forever has not crossed my mind, but my daddy taught me when you take on a job you see it through.   Grant it running an on line pool lg is not technically  a job sense you do not get any real pay, but in my mind it s a job, and I have a duty to do it.

     Sorry I digressed.   The main thing to remember here is if you know a special needs person handle them with care and everything will be fine.

     If I live to be a hundred I will never cease to be amazed at the insensitivity of some people.   Did you all see the article about the sports fan suing  for 10 million dollars because he was humiliated on the camera when he fell asleep during a game?   I think he is asking for a bit too much, but I really hopes he does get awarded 1 million for what happened to him.   It was rude of the announcers to  make wise cracks about him falling asleep.   He paid for his ticket so that seat was his to use as he saw fit till the game was over as long as he did not cause any problems for anyone else.   I am just wondering if he had some health problem that caused him to fall asleep there, because most people will not fall asleep at and event even if the game is boring.   But either way the remarks the announcers made about him and the guy next to him and the snack the other guy was having was insensitive and uncalled for.   What gets me is why would these announcers want to pick on the fans anyhow?   Don't they realize if not for the fans they would have no pay check?   I do not blame the guy that fell asleep for being mad and suing.   I just think his amount is a bit high if he really wanted to win this suit he should have picked an amount a bit more in keeping with the crime.   I doubt he will get 10 million for what happened , but I could really see him getting 1 or 2 million.   All the guy did was fall asleep EVERYONE IN THE WORLD SLEEPS, and they made it seem like it was something terrible.   There are any number of reasons one would fall asleep in an odd place.   I myself have done it a couple of times.   Is it embarrassing when you wake up and realize you have fallen asleep in public?  YES it can be, and to have EVERYONE that was watching the show and all the fans in the stadium know you fell asleep in the game is even worse.   These news casters and the camera man who first caught it turned what would have been a immorally  embracing thing into a media event.   I say again that was very insensitive.   How would they have liked it if someone held them up for public ridicule?

     I have a friend who always says we should all treat each other the way we want to be treated and I could not agree more.   Treating one another like we want others to treat us is not a new concept.   If you want to see how old that idea really is look up  THE GOLDEN RULE .   It states : "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,", and if you do not know where that comes from it comes form the Bible one of the oldest books ever written.    If more people would follow that the world would be a better place.

     This is very early for me to be up.   If you wake up when no one else is up you sometimes think about things when you are alone with your thoughts  you may not think of if there was someone else awake to talk with.   To truly understand why I was awake so early we need to travel back to yesterday.   I spent a mostly enjoyable day with my neighbor and her family, and a few neighbors.   Around 10 last night I was sitting on the handicapped ramp at the office building across from my house watching fireworks from several sited.   That ramp is the perfect place to see many displays at one time on the 4th.  

     Just as the other displays were nearly finished about 6 cars and one motorcycle pulled into the parking lot in front of us.   One clearly drunk man got out of one of the cars and saw us sitting there he asked if we were there for the fireworks.   We told him we had been watching them for about an hour.   He said that was nothing we were about to see the real ones.   I have lived in this neighborhood for nearly 40 years , and I have heard similar remarks on the 4th.   What it usually meant was someone had gone out of state and gotten some illegal fireworks and were going to set them off in our neighborhood, so I came home and closed my windows while they were setting up.   I have gotten a house full of smoke before when people have done that in the past.   I then went back to my spot on the ramp to watch.   It was in fact a nice display, but I heard part of the conversations the owners of the fireworks were saying.   I knew they would not be cleaning up the casings they left behind.   They did not say that exactly what they did say was that one of them had not been to bed sense sometime the night before. Another one made a reference to a wedding today, and another said about having to get the kids in bed.   It made me warm all over to see how comforting the one dad was when his little girl got frightened by the noise.   I sat there thinking well they are going to leave a mess for someone else to clean up.   Then I thought I am enjoying the display so I can go clean some of it up.   It may not be right. but I did no feel I had to clean it all up.   I was not the only one who enjoyed them.

     I took 2 bags and went over round 7 am this morning to clean some of it up.   I am not in as good as shape as I once was so I kept my cleaning on the top of the hill.   I got all the glass I saw and most of the paper on the parking lot and grass around it.   I however did not venture down the steep hill to retrieve the 5  big boxes the had left on the ball field at the bottom of the hill.   I may have been able to get down that hill, but there is no way I could have climbed that steep wet hill back up even once much less 5 times.One of my bags broke so I had to go get a garbage can to gather up the heavy launchers they left on the hill top.  

     By the time I finished I was quite out of breath and sat down on my porch to catch my breath.   I sat down on my porch to catch my breath and as I sat there I spotted some birds fighting over a hotdog someone's child probably dropped yesterday.   As I watched the birds fight for possession of the barbequed treat I thought about that expression about the survival of the fittest.   For a split second I thought maybe that would be a way to go if humans were more like animals the human race would be stronger.   I have an inherited health issue so I decided years ago to not have any children of my own blood line.   That way I would not pass it on to the next generation.  

     Then I thought about my friend's niece.    Her dad had beat her mom when she was pregnant with her twins and as a result the little boy did not survive , but the girl did barely.   She has many health issues.   The doctors did not give her a year to live, but she just celebrated her 15th birthday.   To an outsider some may think the would have been better off dead.   She can not do anything for herself, BUT no one who has ever met this child feels like that.   She can not speak but she does understand when you talk to her she will respond with head shakes and flailing her arms around.   She has such a beautiful smile.   This child that will never be able to do what other children can do still finds ways to smile and make everyone around her smile.   Her family takes excellent care of her.   Her mom always called her her miracle  baby.   I look at this child that would have been killed or abandoned by her parents if we had been animals, and I think the animal world has it all wrong.   Even the most deformed disabled child can still be a joy to those that love him.  

     I told you, you get odd thoughts when you are all alone with them. lol     Well I have rambled on enough. lol I need to get some breakfast.

     The 4th of July is nearly here, and my neighbor is throwing a huge party for it.   Me and another friend of ours pitched in to help out with the goodie bags for the kids.  At least that was the original plan.   We ordered most of the stuff from a mail order catalog and I put it all on my credit card with the agreement that the other 2 ladies were to give me the money for their purchases on July 1 .   I tried to talk our one friend into not getting so much, because I could see she was spreading her money too thin, but she would not listen.   I knew she was not the best risk on something like this, because of past doings, but I did not want her to feel left out, so I let her order the 2 things she had picked out.   When the bill came I paid it all off as I had planned to.   On the first the lady that is having the party gave me the money she owed me, but the other lady did not.   The 2 ladies had gotten into a fight over the one ladies trouble making son and the other's nephew who himself was capable of getting in trouble.   The one does not plan to come to the party and I knew when I found that out that  I knew she was not going to pay me for what she ordered.  

     The  fight they had had nothing to do with me or the deal I made with either of them, so I think she should keep her side of it.    I kept mine.   But I made up my mind if she does not pay me for what she ordered I will just go ahead and give the kids the things that were ordered and just never trust my user friend again.    I still see them both as friends because I do not pick friends by who does me no wrong I pick them by who does me more good then bad.  I guess that makes me the idiot that can not tell the difference because the girl that still owes me money comes from a long line of users.   Her sister used to flirt guys up on line to get them to send her things, and her mother still owes me $5 for like a year.    It is sometimes hard to tell real friends from users.   Thing about users is if you can use them back lol.   If you can then you can call them friend because if everyone is using everyone it is all fair.  

    I may be and idiot for letting users in my life but if you really look at your life we have all used someone for something at sometime in our lives.   I do not see a problem with letting someone use you as long as you can use them when you need them.