jane_and.the_dragon

     I have a friend who is in the service and he is wise beyond his years.   He always says (NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE THAT MAKES YOU AND OPTION IN THEIRS.)   I am beginning to think he may be sooooooooo right about that.   I am only just beginning to see what made him say that.   I have noticed that if you make someone a priority in your life and they do not see you as a priority in theirs, they will take advantage of you and everything you have to offer them.   At the same time they will give back little to you.   That reminds me of another cute thing I heard one time on a show called Will and Grace.   Will said in a relationship one person is the flower and the other person is a gardener.   For those of you that do not know what that means it means one person gives everything and the other receives it all giving very little back.   I have come to realize I am a gardener and I am growing myself a bumper crop of flowers this year.    I am beginning to wonder if I should look into maybe switching crops next year and see if I can not grow me some  vegetables.   At least if you grow vegetables  you get nourishment from all your work.   I have already found a couple people I would say could be in my vegetable garden.   They encourage me when I am down they care when I am upset and they try to make me feel better if I am sad.   They would be prize winning entries at any fair.  

     Basically the point I am trying to make is some people are so wrapped up in their lives and what they want to even notice the people that have been there all along for them.   The people that did the planting and the weeding so their plans could grow.   Doing the heavy lifting so someone else could reap the rewards.   I have never minded being the gardener in the past.   It always gave me joy to make it so others could be happy, but here lately I think I am getting stiff joints from all the care of my friend garden.

     Have any of you ever been spider bit?   I have no clue why it is, but I have been spider bitten 4 times in the past 10 years.   The most recent was a little over a week ago.   If you have never been spider bitten do your best to NEVER get bitten.   You do not usually feel the bite when it happens.   Shortly there after it will start to swell and sometimes itch.   It will then begin to sink down in the middle like someone took a scope out of your skin.   It can become infected.   If it shows red lines coming off it or feels hot GO TO THE DOCTOR right away.   I had one spider bite that took months to heal even after I got the antibiotics for it and it sunk so deep into my leg just walking on it hurt.   I am worried this one may be another one like that one, because it is right over my thigh muscle on the top of my leg.   Every time I move my leg it stretches and pulls the skin on the bite.  

     I went to take my shower this morning and found a spider about the size of a pencil eraser in my shower.   Needless to say it is DEAD now.   It is like I always say I do not mind sharing the world with any living thing BUT MY HOUSE IS OFF LIMITS.   Any pests move into my house they must have a death wish.   I have spoken to my land lord about the problems we have with spiders and ants in this unit, but he just says go buy some insecticide.   Sooooooooooo I have come up with a plan.   He is out of the office till Friday,  but my plan is to go see him Friday and take the bandage I have been warring on my leg off so he can get a good look at what happens to me when I get bit.   I then plan to point out the other 3 scars on my body and tell him this is a health hazard and needs taken care of.   They say a picture is worth a thousand words so I am thinking if he sees with his own eyes what is happening maybe just maybe he will do something about it if I am lucky.

     In the mean time I plan to start applying baking soda pastes to the wound to try to draw the poison out and aid in the healing of it.   If that does not work I may end up going to the doctor about it which I am not looking forward to.

     If anyone can tell me why I get bit so much I would love to know.

     Have you ever had one of those days that starts out bad and gets worse?   I am having one of them today.   Without going into a lot of detail it is one of those days when I wish I could go back to bed and pull the bed in over me in hopes tomorrow will be better.   This bad day actually started last night when something that started out as a fun game turned into a problem when someone lied to me.   It was a small lie.  The thing is it is one that will not be tolerated in the group I hand with most times.    None of it would have came to this had he just admitted what he did.

     Here is a question for everyone.   What is easier to forgive a lie that you know is a lie but can not prove or a lie you know is a lie and is admitted when you confront the liar?   It is not that my group will not forgive a lie what we will not forgive is someone that lies WE ALL KNOW IT IS A LIE, and still they deny the lie.  

    I rarely take anything on face value, because I myself have been accused wrongly many times, BUT when you can prove the person is lying and they continue to lie there is a trust issue there.   I do not know if he did not know we could do what we did that reveled who he was, but when confronted he denied it.   There is no doubt we are right, and still he denied it.   He did however put forth a plausible theory on how this could have happened.  Problem is I have know him way too long and if you know someone REALLY KNOW THEM you know what they will and will not do, and if someone says they did something you know they would never do you can call a lie a lie.   There is only one way his theory could have been true and knowing him like I do I KNOW HE WOULD NEVER HAVE LET THAT HAPPEN!   Which brings us back to the lie of denial.   So I had to start my day out dealing with this.  

     I know it is going to get worse, because I promised a friend I would work on his computer later today and it is an antique lol.   It is running xp though I do not believe it originally started out that way I am thinking it was originally a 98 or 95.   I remember him telling me one time someone had upgraded it for him, but they used a ripped disc.   I don't know if you know what happens when you rip a windows disc but the security on it will leave off files you need for the computer to run right.   We had another friend at one time that tried to help him get it working better and he did a little but it still has issues, so anytime you start working on this thing it is at least a 5 to 10 hr job as its processer is really really slow.   I will be glad when today is over, cause tomorrow has got to be better RIGHT?

      This day is getting progressively worse as it goes along.  I am at the stage now where I think a good cry would do me some good.  I really think I need to just go away for a while.   It is one of those days with first one disaster after another.

     I was talking to some friends the other night.   One of the subjects was age and would we be young again if we could.   One of my friends said she would give anything to be young again, and this link is for her.   https://youtu.be/M57__OyMCfI

     I on the other hand do not want to be young again.   Not if it would mean losing all the knowledge I have gathered in my 56 years as a visitor to this planet.   Another reason I would not like to be young again is if I were the only one to be young again, I would be doing it without many of the people who have made me who I am today.   Many of those that taught me, loved me, hurt me, and protected me while I was becoming who I am today are gone now.     If not for each of them even the ones that hurt me I would not be who I am today, and I kind of like who I am today most of the time.    

     My life is far from perfect, but in many ways it is better then it was when I was young.  I am stronger emotionally, more assertive when needed, less scared of things that used to terrify me.   If I were young again I would need to relearn all the skills I have learned to cope with these things.   I never really fit in with kids my own age when I was young.   I always got along better with people older or younger then me.   I think it was because people my own age tended to look down on me and make fun of me, because I was not like them.   The younger kids looked up to me because I would do things with them like take them for walks and play games with them things their parents either did not have time for or did not want to do.   Kids need adults to help them and teach them.   The older people felt sorry for me and would protect me. 

     There is a time for everything and the time for being young is when you are young.   The time for being old is when you got the experience and knowledge to pass it on.   The fact of the matter is I am happier at this age then I was when I was young.   I know people love me now I did not feel the love when I was younger.   I was insecure and some mean people in my life took advantage of it.

     The key to being happy is likening  who you are at all points in your life.   Bottom line age is just a number you really are as young as you feel.

     I am having one of those days .   I was not even out of the shower this morning when things stared going bad.   I have a lose tile over my tub that I have to get fixed.   As I stepped out of the shower I got a phone call from my b/f .   He told me a friend of ours had gotten the fbi virus.  If you have never seen this thing it looks very official and tells you they have blocked your computer and for a large price they will sent to them by a money pack they will release it.   THIS IS MALWARE NOT A REAL THING FROM THE FBI.   Everything I have founds about getting rid of it suggests you do a system restore to before you got it .   The thing is the fbi virus will not let you get to system restore it shuts it off and you can not access it.   After many frustrating attempts to get the system restore fixed I told him to shut it off till him mom got back from her trip. (my friend is learning impearled)   So his mom handles the important things.    He did not listen to me he called the geek squad to work on it.   If any of you have ever had any doings with this geek squad  you will know for alleged tech people they are idiots.   Last time he let them work on his computer it took me 2 days to fix the mess they made of it. Now he has let them back in it so I am going to let his mom deal with him and it. lol

     So then I went to wash some celery my neighbor gave me.   Did you know celery would grow in pa ? I did not, but he sure brought me some.  

     I thought I was going to watch General Hospital, but that did not happen it was preempted again.   That is like 5 times in the past month they preempted it for news things.   Can someone tell me why all the breaking news happens between 2 and 3 pm eastern usa time?   Seriously if I was General Hospital I would demand another time slot. lol   The crazy thing is when their ratings drop for that time slot they will blame it on General Hospital but it will really be all this breaking news THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT that is making people change channels at the speed of light.  

     Our league room has been having a lot of people in it that do not speak English  ROTFL guess that is what we get for setting up in a room called Rio.   They just started coming in this week in large numbers so I wonder what room they are running away from.   If we could get someone that speaks English in with them maybe we could find out where they came from and if they would like to join our league. lol I am always trying to build membership.