jane_and.the_dragon

     I heard something amazing from Seth tonight on wwe.   He said something I totally agree with for the first time ever.  He said, " A MAN'S WORD IS ALL HE REALY HAS."    He was so right  a man is as only as good as his word, and if his word is no good he has nothing.   People can steel everything you own they can beat you up and they can put you in the hospital, but if you are a man of your word no one can take that away from you ever.   The interesting thing is he does not practice what he preaches.   He stabbed his shield brothers in the back, and thought nothing of it.   The words sounded good when he said them, but it was just lip service.   That is the problem with the world today so many people say things never intending to keep their word, and they wonder why they lose friends.

     Just stopped in to say hi and hope you are all having as nice of summer as I am.   I got my bike out and rode it a little the other day.   It feels good to spend more time outside when the weather allows.   We have been having a rainy summer which makes it hard to keep my windows clean.   I am going to wash them AGAIN today lol.   Not going to do much good they are calling for rain again today.   I do not know who it is that keeps calling for it but I wish they would stop lol we got our share and then some.

     There are 2 things I have been putting off doing, cleaning the shed and reorganizing my bedroom.   Both are very full at the moment and are going to have their share of hidden dust and probably spiders to deal with.   I hate spiders I am not afraid of them I just hate them, because they love me so much.   I must taste good to them I have been bitten 4 times in the past 10 years.   To anyone that has never been bit by a spider all I can say is DON'T .   It makes a painful sore takes for ever to heal and leaves a nasty scar.

     I got sucked into a marathon on animal planet all day yesterday, then I tried to watch finding big foot but I fell asleep.   Something did come to me when I woke up though.   Why do they call the show finding big foot when then NEVER DO.   These people that are constantly running around in the woods in all kinds of weather banging on trees and yelling have not gotten 1 single good sighting for the whole series.   Makes me wonder who is the stupidest me for watching it or them for still doing it?   What was really weird about this last one was most of the sightings took place in the day time (apparently this is unusual behavior according to them, but if all these people are seeing it in the day it must not be as nocturnal  as they think, so why were they not looking for this one that liked the day in the day?   Well back to window washing lol.

     Sometimes I hate being me.   My moods shift and change like the wind blows.   One minute I am happy the next I am crying then I will be mad then crying then laughing again, the weird thing is this is all normal for me.   Lol many years ago my shrink thought I may be manic depressive, and even had me on meds for it for about 6 months with no change.   I tried to tell him that was not it I was just Pisces, and Pisces have mood swings.   He finally realized I was not manic depressive and took me off the lithium.   

     What I did not know then, but I came to realize in later years is there may have been something else going on too.   I discovered over a decade later that I was a psychic empathy.   For those of you that do not know what that is Hollywood may have came up with a couple good illustrations  of 2 different ends of the psychic empathy scale.   How many of you have seen the green mile?  John Coffey on The Green Mile had the psychic empathy ability many times stronger then mine.   I thank God all the time I do not have it that strong.   I would not be able to take it if mine was as strong as his.  Also on Star Trek The Next Generation Diana Troy had a form of it.  She however could tune hers in on a specific person.   I find that hard to believe the only people I have ever been able to actually tune in on were other psychics.   The rest of the emotions I receive from others are random and uncontrollable.   That is one of the reasons I do not go to a lot of social events.   It is scary to feel an emotion and not know if it is in fact yours or if it belongs to someone near you and you are just feeling it from them.   I have also felt pain from other people, and symptoms of other ailments like when my sisters had carpel tunnel I had both of their symptoms and after their operations my symptoms cleared.   The interesting thing is I did not even know my one sister had it till she was going in for the surgery.  

     Most recently I have discovered a new aspect.   I have discovered at times I can smell scents from many miles away, and the smell can be strong enough to cause my allergies to react.   As of yet I have only confirmed this ability happing with 1 person but it happened 3 different times with that same person.   Some people may think such things would be fun, but they would be wrong.   I hate it and wish I never had it.   It is hard to have a normal life never knowing if something you preserve as real is really happening to you or if you are just picking up on transmissions from someone you are tuned into.  There are times when I can become overwhelmed by the feelings I am receiving from those around me.

     I have a few friends that have this same ability and occasionally we drive those around us nuts when we pick up on something from the other person.   I remember one night there were nightmares going around.  I was picking up on things out of my friends head incorporating them into my night mare, and broadcasting things from my heat to my friends daughter.   Needless to say none of us slept well that night.

     I often wonder if the mood swings I feel are really mine or they belong to someone near me.   It would be so nice to be able to tell if they were mine of theirs.

     Anyone else sick of this weird weather we been having?   I really wish mother nature would make up her mind.   In an hour today we had torrential downpours  scorching sun and oppressive humidity.   At one point we had a hard rain coming down with the sun shinning brightly in the middle of it , and no rainbow it was weird.   You see we have very many rainbows in my neighborhood.   In fact there was one later in the day when it was not even raining.    Like I said weird weather.     It has rained so much in the past week the ground is saturated.   We tried to have an outside party on the 4th, and the ground was so wet the chairs were sinking into it 8 inches deep when we sat on them.   Well the one I sat on did anyhow lol.   Others did not sink as deep as me.     Weird thing is the back lets were the only ones that sunk that deep I must have hit a really soft spot.

     Then there is the insects everywhere, ants, flies, those little black ones some call billbugs others call weevils, spiders ( ok a spider is not and insect , but they bug me  so they count lol) .   Another weird thing is the massive infestations of these bugs we have in my area.   In the past 10 years we have had swarms of praying mantises, dragon flies, gnats, ants, and ne winter mind you winter I had a swam of bees INSIDE my kitchen window.   You heard me right INSIDE THE KITCHEN WINDOW IN THE WINTER.   Sometimes I feel like I live in a scene from exudes, but if that were the case why would we have so many rainbows?   I do not remember any rainbows with the Egyptian plagues.  

     It has been years sense we had a normal weather pattern here, and I miss them.

   I found a song that really says it all to me.   This is how I have always felt.   It is only recently I have realized thought I believed it I was not living it.   I plan to try living by these words.  You got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.  https://youtu.be/Z_s-Qk07KxA  I wish I wrote that song.   Fact is I could not have said it better.   Sometimes we become blinded by things we want and it colors our sight to what is really going on.  

     Which is not to say I never stood for anything before.   About 10 years ago we had a really mean woman in the neighborhood and she had a violent streak.   She had punched 2 of the other women in the neighborhood in the face, and took a ball bat to a woman's boyfriend in his own house.   She beat him so bad he was bruised for days.   My encounter with her came at the local food bank.   There had been a mix up at the distribution center and the wrong hams were sent we got 10 that were meant for the soup kitchen and they got 20 meant for ours.   The tenants organization tried to do their best after finding out the ones they sent to the soup kitchen were already used so the error could not be fixed.  She gave the 10 big hams to the first 10 people through the door, and the remaining 10 smaller ones to the next 10 in.   That left them 10 short, so she gave everyone else extra other canned meats like tuna, salmon, chicken, and beef.   I myself was late getting there and did not get a ham, but I thought the compromise was a good one all things considered.  

     I had walked down the street to remind a neighbor about the food bank at the request of the president of the organization.   As I walked through the ramp door of the hall when I returned, I walked in just in time to hear this woman that had been violent before screaming at the council.   She said, "I BET EVERY F***ING PERSON IN HERE GOT A HAM BUT ME."   Me being who I am  and knowing it not to be true.    I said to her in a normal voice, " Um no I came in late like you and I did not get one either the warehouse made a mistake and Eva is doing the best she can, but how you gonna get mad about something that is being given to you for free?"   Well that simple question and the fact I proved her wrong turned her attentions from the council to me.   She started yelling at me and when she saw I was not running away she moved closer.   She kept yelling and getting closer till her face was about 8 inches from mine, at that point she said I needed to stay out of her business or she was gonna punch me in the face.   The whole time she was yelling and moving closer I stood my ground I did not move back an inch.   I also maintained eye contact with her staring a whole through her not blinking.   When she saw I was not gonna flinch or run or even back away from her she realized I was not scared of her. (OR SO SHE THOUGHT) fact is if she could have seen inside my chest to my heart she would have seen it beating so hard it nearly popped out of my chest.   Because I stood my ground did not flinch and did not run she did not know what would happen to her if she touched me.   I already had a plan I was watching her body language for any sign of a swing in my direction.   If she had I was ready to duck it and my punch would have been in her stomach, but it was not necessary.   Because I stared her down and did not even reply to her shouting as many would have she had no clue what my next move would have been had she hit me.   Seeing that I was not gonna back down she stepped away from me and at that point I said to her again in a normal voice, "Oh and by the way if you do not want me in your business do not bring me in it.   You are the one that said you betted everyone in here got a ham but you and I was just pointing out the hole in your logic."  

     It was a good thing I spoke up when I did because it could have gotten ugly.   I did not mention it before because to me it is unimportant, but the whole council was white and this was a black lady.   The fact that I did not get a ham either and I was white made it clear to her BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN SAY IT that it was not a racist issue that kept her from getting a ham it was a clerical one at the warehouse.   I knew this woman for many years and knew how she was.   She tried to make anytime anyone said anything against her or tried to stop her from being disrespectful or mean she tried to make it about race.  

     Frankly 80% of the things people want to make about race have nothing to do with race.  NOTICE I DID NOT SAY IT NEVER DOES.  I said 80% of the time it does not.   I blame the media for everyone wanting to cry racism even when that is not the motivating factor.   Lets look at the case of the African American man that died in police custody when it took like 5 officers to arrest him.   They had video of it HE WAS RESISTING AREST, AND FIGHTING WITH THE OFFICERS.   That is why it took so much force to control him, but did the media say that in the story noooooooooo they would not do that the truth is boring.   Drama and racism sells papers and  makes people watch.   Thing is people need to see what they are watching not listen to what the announcers are trying to use to bait you into watching them.   You know dang well if the officers and the suspect were ALL white or if the officers were black and the suspect were white it would have been reported very differently.       It would have been like man dies in police custody when excessive force was needed to subdue the man.   No mention of color would have been said and for a good reason IT DOES NOT MATTER.   The media make it an issue when it does not need to be and in doing so keep the drama stirring instead of letting this country come together as one.

( CLIMBS DOWN OFF SOAP BOX) LOL

     Ok I get wound up sometimes lol.   But no one can say I do not take stands when I believe some thing is wrong.