Sometimes I hate being me. My moods shift and change like the wind blows. One minute I am happy the next I am crying then I will be mad then crying then laughing again, the weird thing is this is all normal for me. Lol many years ago my shrink thought I may be manic depressive, and even had me on meds for it for about 6 months with no change. I tried to tell him that was not it I was just Pisces, and Pisces have mood swings. He finally realized I was not manic depressive and took me off the lithium.
What I did not know then, but I came to realize in later years is there may have been something else going on too. I discovered over a decade later that I was a psychic empathy. For those of you that do not know what that is Hollywood may have came up with a couple good illustrations of 2 different ends of the psychic empathy scale. How many of you have seen the green mile? John Coffey on The Green Mile had the psychic empathy ability many times stronger then mine. I thank God all the time I do not have it that strong. I would not be able to take it if mine was as strong as his. Also on Star Trek The Next Generation Diana Troy had a form of it. She however could tune hers in on a specific person. I find that hard to believe the only people I have ever been able to actually tune in on were other psychics. The rest of the emotions I receive from others are random and uncontrollable. That is one of the reasons I do not go to a lot of social events. It is scary to feel an emotion and not know if it is in fact yours or if it belongs to someone near you and you are just feeling it from them. I have also felt pain from other people, and symptoms of other ailments like when my sisters had carpel tunnel I had both of their symptoms and after their operations my symptoms cleared. The interesting thing is I did not even know my one sister had it till she was going in for the surgery.
Most recently I have discovered a new aspect. I have discovered at times I can smell scents from many miles away, and the smell can be strong enough to cause my allergies to react. As of yet I have only confirmed this ability happing with 1 person but it happened 3 different times with that same person. Some people may think such things would be fun, but they would be wrong. I hate it and wish I never had it. It is hard to have a normal life never knowing if something you preserve as real is really happening to you or if you are just picking up on transmissions from someone you are tuned into. There are times when I can become overwhelmed by the feelings I am receiving from those around me.
I have a few friends that have this same ability and occasionally we drive those around us nuts when we pick up on something from the other person. I remember one night there were nightmares going around. I was picking up on things out of my friends head incorporating them into my night mare, and broadcasting things from my heat to my friends daughter. Needless to say none of us slept well that night.
I often wonder if the mood swings I feel are really mine or they belong to someone near me. It would be so nice to be able to tell if they were mine of theirs.
