jane_and.the_dragon

 
registro: 15/04/2014
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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POETIC IRONY

     As you all saw in my last blog my brother died and it rained really hard the morning of his death.   It also rained the day of his viewing and the day of his funeral very hard rains all 3.   Here is where the irony comes in I found out the day of my brothers viewing his cb handle was rainmaker.   Makes you wonder if all the rain around his death and funeral is his way of telling us he is ok.
I do not know what got into me at the funeral.   The paster asked if anyone wanted to get up and tell any stories about my brother and I raised my hand.    I was the first to speak and I told 3 very short stories.   I told about my first year to school and how my brother would stand between me and the wind on cold days to try to keep me warm, and how he would carry me through the deep snows.   The third story got a chuckle from his wife which made me feel good.   I told about this kid that picked on me my first year to school.   He was 3 years older then me.  I told them my brother went to this kids house and told him what was going to happen to him if he did not leave his little sister alone. ( my mom told me he did that he never told me)   I had more stories i could have told, but I was having all I could do to keep from crying.   When I felt like I could no longer talk without crying I set down.   Much to my surprise my other brother put out his hand to shake mine when I went back to my seat, and one of my sisters followed his example.   When I sat down Robbies niece Lisa went up and spoke.   I will be honest with you all I only heard part of what she said, because I had many memories running round in my head.     Id I had been able to hold back the tears I would have told the story of the little snow man.   I was about 2 or 3 years old I am not sure which, but it was the first time I could remember seeing snow.  Robbie and Dorothy were out playing in in.   They were making a snow man I had never seen one before.   I wanted to go out and play with them, but mom thought I was too small and would not let me.   Robbie saw me watching them making the snow man and he made a tiny snow man out of a couple snow balls and set it on the window ledge where I was watching.   He told me it was my very own snow man.   I have several more cute heart warming stories, but they are not all good memories.   I asked my sister if she was proud of my that I told the stories did and not the ones I had been telling her for years of how he dissapointed me many times.   She said yes.   Fact is we were closer sense Thanksgiving that we had been in over 20 years.   He made the attempt to mend the bridges between us and I went to meet him half way.


THE SKYS CRIED

   You all know my brother has not been well for a while.   They left him come home last night because we knew the end was near and he wanted to be at home.   I was suposesd to go see him today.   I woke up a good 2 hrs before my alarm clock at a little after 7 am.   The skys were very dark nd cloudy.   I knew it was going to rain. I hate cloudy days.  I did not know what time my sister was going to come get me so we could go to my brother's, so i took a shower.   I had just gotten out of the shower and my other brother called me.  Our brother passed away at 7 am this morning.n1.gif .   When the call from my brother came in it had just started to rain.  I called my sister and while I talked to her the rain began to fall heavly.   It lasted about a half hr.   Now the sun is shining brightly.  It was like the sky cried with us and now the sun is telling us to dry our tears, because we need to be strong for my brothers family.   That is what my family does.  We do not cry at the funeral or the viewings, if we want to cry we do it before we go to the fiewings.   Someonce said my familys viewings was like a party.   Our grandpa always said when a baby is born you cry, because his troubles are just starting, but when someone dies you laugh cause their trouples are over.  We all try our best to do that.
     The next week is going to be hard, but we will make it through my family draws together when there is a bad thing like this that happens.   I think the hardest part of all is going to be either when I have to see him in the casket or at the grave side we are burring him in the family plot and I have not been there in a couple years.  Mom, Dad,and Sally ann will be waiting for him.   Hummmm maybe the sun came out because he got to see mom he missed seeing her before she died by like 5 min.   If we had know he was that close we would have had them suction her 1 more time, but we did not know we were having trouble finding him that morning, and cell phones were not popular back then.
     Just a thought if you all wanted to do something nice you could donate some money to the cancer hospital in Pittsburgh.   They saved my nephew,and even though it will not help my brother, but it may help keep someone else from losing their brother later.


NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE

     I am not looking forward to the future.   I found out today my brother who had the heart attack and quadruple bypass in Nov and the cancer sergery in March and the facial reconstructive sergery in April is now back in the hospital.   He just finnished the kemo and radciation avbout a week ago.   He has phenomia and the cancer is heading for his crainal cavity on the other side of his head.   He also has a tumor in his lung.   It is not looking good and he is only 68.  If everyone coupld pray for him and his family it would be appriciated his name is Robbie.   Prayers may not save him but it can not hurt.   Prayers saved our dad when he had his stroke and the doctors did not think he would ever wake up,so if we can get enough peole praying maybe my brother can get a merical.   Lord knows his family could use one.   His youngest son has fought 3 rounds with cancer in the past 5 years, and now my brother has it.

WHEN A TINY DEAL BECOMES NO DEAL AT ALL !

     Have you ever heared of a company called tiny deal?    Neither had I till a couple weeks ago, but they appeared to have some things I wanted to buy at a good price, so I placed an order with them.   My credit card company denyed the transaction and called me because they thought I may not have made it.   I confirmed I had made it and they told me to replace the order and it would be oked.   I did as they said and replaced the order.   It was charged to my card.   Then on the 5th I got and email that said: Thanks for purchase. For safety reason, please confirm this payment of order ( number removed) The following documents are required before we ship your order: 1. Pictures of credit card info - front side with only last 4 numbers and your name (please cover the other info ) and back side with your signature (please cover your CVC number,very important ) . If you use a virtual card or prepaid card, please also send us a screenshot to show it. 2. The original picture of the first page about your passport or ID card Note: Please hold the card with your hand when you take pictures by phone or camera. The Scanned or PDF file is not acceptable.Please do not use software to edit or reduce the size of your pictures. We will send these information to bank to confirm, if everything is going well, we we will ship our items to you. All the information you provide is for the confirmation of the payment only, we promise that we will not disclose any information to any other purposes. Please reply to us soon, if we don't get your reply in 3 working days, we will cancel the order. Thank you very much for your cooperation and support.
Best regards,
TinyDeal Co,Ltd.
     I have never seen anything like this before so I did not send that info.   They did in fact cancel my order, but what is making me the maddest about this whole thing is MY CREDIT CARD APPROVED THE PURCHASE.   IT WAS ALREADY BILLED TO MY ACCOUNT!   So why the hell did they cancel the transaction???   The payment went through!   They got their money!   But I did not and apparently will not get my order.   Then they tell me it could take 14 days for them to put the money back on my card.   Why should I have to wait 14 days for then to give me my money back on an order they canceled against my wishes?     TAKE MY ADVICE  DO NOT ORDER ANYTHING FROM TINYDEAL CO,LTD.   IT IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE.  I found the same things they refused to send me even though I had paid for them on ebey, and will most likely order them from ebey.

Why is it?

    

Why is it so hard to let go of the past?   It has been over a year sense my net wourld was turned upside down, and I have done a pretty good job making a new one.   Problem is i can not let go of the past.   Tonight I was setting on my couch playing breking bricks on my tablet and some strong memories from over a year ago came rushing back.   The memories concern a letter dn some stylest that were sent to me January 2015.   The letter said they love me, and just a few months later I was told i was useless and thrown out like trash.   You would think after a year I would have forgotten those that hurt me and moved on to a better life.   Why is it my mind drifts back to the time before i was hurt?   Why is it i still miss someone that hurt me and did not care enough about me to apologize for hurting me.    Two little words would go a long way to fixing my broken heart.   The words I'M SORRY and I would be able to forgive the wrong that was done me.   I got a call several months ago, and we talked for nearly 4 hours.   I was told i was missed, but still I did not get an apology.   I would be lieing if i said I did not miss the good times.   The times when I felt loved and trusted.   I may never get tht back from the ones that shook my faith in what people say when they say they love you.   I will someday be happy again.   The day may come when i do not think of the pain i have felt or the loss.   My problem is part of me will never forget the good times we spent looking at pictures, ad planning how to make what we wanted come true.  
    
     Sometimes I wish the human mind was like a computer.   Then I could just erase or delete the bad things in it and keep the good ones.   It sucks when you find yourself longing for things of the past and crying for things you want and may never get.   It makes you wonder if they ever really cared or if they were just using you until they got what they wanted.   It could have all been so wonderful if they had just kept their work always, and not just until they got what they wanted.   Why is it we do not do what is best for ourselves even when we know what it is?