jane_and.the_dragon

 
registro: 15/04/2014
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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GREMLINS

     Do you all know what Gremlins?    I am not talking about the kind in the movie.   I am talking about the kind that used to be said to cause machine failure in the 1940's.   I think one of them must have sneaked into my house.   In the past 2 days I have had my printer malfunction and a light burned out in my refrigerator, and my sweeper is acting like it does not want to charge.   I think I need some Gremlin repellent lol.

     But seriously DO NOT EVER BYE KODAK PRINTERS.   I have never like this thing, and I like it even less sense I re seated the print head about 2 doz times and still it did not fix the error.   I tried calling the company.   They were no help.   I got a bunch of ink for this and now I may not be able to use it , because if I have to replace it it will be with a different brand.   What sucks is while I was looking for help on line I discovered I am not the only one having problems with Kodak printers.   The one guy was so mad at them he wants to put them out of business.   Another guy smashed his with a sledge hammer, another guy threw a bolder on his.   I am the type to try to fix something before discarding it, but after 2 days of fighting with it the beading it with a hammer idea looks better every minute.


MORAL COMPASS

      A moral compass is defined as an internalized set of values and objectives that guide a person with regard to ethical behavior and decision-making.   I usually try to follow the way my moral compass points, but occasionally I think there may be some dirt in the workings of my moral compass.   From time to time the needle will swing so far away from what is right it is ridiculous.   My mind will occasionally think of doing some of the meanest things to someone at which I am mad.   Left to my own worst nature I can be quite creatively mean.   I just thank God my moral compass usually swings back into the proper position before I act on any of my eviler thoughts.
     Today is one of those days where the needle is swinging.   About 2 hrs ago I came into possession of a little piece of text that I really should not have.   I had many thoughts of what I could do with it, and how it could hurt the person it came from.   The problem is it could also hurt someone I care a lot about if it were found out where I got it.   I have a feeling my moral compass will win the battle going on inside my head and I will do nothing more with it then laugh because I knew it to be true.   That does not stop me from thinking how much fun it would be to make it public.   Thing is my moral compass will not allow me to hurt someone I consider a friend.
     I believe we all have moral compasses, but I also believe from time to time we get specks of emotional dust in them, and for a time they do not work at full power.  It is at these times we do stupid things, and once we do these stupid things we can not undo them.   We can only seek to set the damage we did right again.   Know what I bet news reporters have these inner struggles all the time.  Bet they often wonder if their job is worth harassing someone just to get a story.    It is not easy to always do the right thing, but it can be rewarding in the end sometimes.   I think from time to time we need to clean our moral compass to keep us on the straight and narrow path.   The best way to get your moral compass back in line it to ask our self  would I want that done to me, when you think of going against your better thoughts.   If the answer is No you may want to re think your plans.


GRATEFUL

     At this time of year I want to take a few minutes to mention all the things for which I am grateful .   First is my family.   They were there for me when I was sick, when I was frightened, and when I was in need of financial help.   Never once did they tell me no or turn me away.   My brother stayed at the hospital with me till 3 am one time and he had to be at work at 6 am. My oldest sister for years saw to it I got to the store and to the doctor.   My other sister stepped in one time and bought me food when I had made a mistake and wound up short of funds .  As a general rule they never throw what they do for me in my face, although my one sister took to telling watch what I am doing frequently till I told her every time she did that it took away from the good she did for me, then she stopped doing it.    I do what ever I can to help them too , but sometimes I think they do more for me then I could ever do for them.  Growing up we never had much money so we learned if we pulled together we would be stronger, and nothing could hurts us too badly.   We did not always have the most high classed foods but mom and dad made sure we always had something in our tummy before bed.  I can remember nights that supper was just macaroni with mushroom soup on it and a glass of milk, but it was something.   If not for the garden mom dad and my sisters and older brother would plant out behind the house we may have went hungry. but that little garden and mom canning the vegetables we would grow enabled us to have vegetable soup sometimes.   We had our own chickens and sometimes pigs for meat.   Sundays were a special day because on Sundays we got a beef roast for dinner.n0.116.gif   Beef was something we did not grow ourselves.   I am grateful for all the love I had growing up.   I am grateful for my family.  I am grateful for the values my parents instilled in me.   Dad was not around a lot when I was a kid.   He worked a lot and most of his spare time he spent at a bar, but when he was around he made it clear we would listen to our mom or we would have him to deal with.   Dad backed mom to the max.    He straight up told my little brother and me we did not always have to listen to him cause he would not be around all the time BUT we would listen to our mom or we would have him to deal with.   I am grateful they were so strict and taught us about honor and respect.   So few of the children today even understand what these words mean.   I am grateful I was born into a family that loves each other.    
     At this time of year I feel sorry for those who did not have the love I have even if they had way more material things then I ever did, because even if you have all the money in the world if you do not have love you are a pauper.


'TIS A PUZZLE

     I had originally planned to write one type of blog today, but as I was signing in I saw something in the news that made me change my mind.   I think this is more important that what I was originally going to write.   It showed a picture of a church that had been bombed.   I could not help but think the person or people that did this are stupid.   Do they really think they can get rid of a certain kind of religion by bombing the place people go to praise the lord?   If that is their intent they are stupid.   Blowing up a building will not kill a religion, if anything it will make it stronger and the members more resolved to stand up for what they believe in.   God is everywhere.  It does not matter where people are if they want to give praise to the lord they can do it in an open field, on a mountain top, in the deepest pit, under water it does not matter where you are God will hear your prayers.   I fail to see how blowing up a church can change any of that.   I think they are wasting their time.   BUT what if getting rid of the religion was not the motive?   What if the motive was to do something newsworthy, and have it put published?   Which brings me to my next point.   I think the media make a BIG mistake always putting the really bad stuff as the first stories.   I think the good news should come first and the shootings, bombings, murders, and robberies should come later.   I am not saying do not report them.   I am saying DO NOT MAKE THEM THE MAIN FOCAL POINT OF THE NEWS.   You get people looking for their 15 min of fame and all they see on the front page of the paper is violence and crime.   They do not see where someone cleaned up a park or gave a home to someone that needed one, no they see bombings and shootings and murders.   In a disturbed mind they would think they had to commit the type crimes that are getting the front page to get their 15 min of fame.  
     Back on topic.   Bombing a church is stupid.   Seriously what did that building ever do to you?   It is just another form of bullying.   If I can not get you to stop doing what you are doing I will  destroy the place you do it in.   Riiiiiight that will work NOT!   All being a bully does is makes the people you are picking on hate you more, unless in this case they are church people.   If they are good church people they may forgive you for what you did, because the Bible says to forgive.   I really think most people that do this stuff are looking for attention and do not know how to get it in a way it would last.
     If everyone would practice tolerance (if you do not like someone else's religion DON'T GO TO THEIR CHURCH), and understanding (just because someone is different does not mean they are bad), and caring ( we are all only here on this planet of a short time do we really want to waist our time hating others?), and compassion ( if you see someone in need help them out) sometimes something as simple as a friendly ear to talk to is a big help when someone is upset.   If everyone would resolve to do 1 good thing for someone else each day the world would start getting better by tomorrow.  
     The problem is this world is getting more and more selfish, arrogant, and desensitized to  the pain and suffering of others.   I blame violent video games and movies for a lot of this.   People who spend a lot of time with these things have trouble relating to the real world.  They see a character in a video game reset after being blown up or a character in a movie be shot in one seen   and up and running around in the next, so the think real people can do this too.   Ok I have rambled on long enough.  In case I do not get another blog in before Christmas you all have a nice holiday season regardless of what you celebrate, and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

Emotional time of year

     I really hate this time of year.   My emotions are all over the place, and I have little control of which direction they will go.   It was so much easier and more fun when I was a kid.   I remember Dec 1 I would start to get excited and the closer to Christmas it got the more excited i got.   Sleeping Christmas eve was so hard.   I could not wait to see what Santa would bring me.   My baby brother and I had a deal which ever one of us woke up first Christmas morning would wake the other.   We had only 2 bedrooms for the 7 of us, so I slept with my mom and my brother slept with my dad in one room.  My older sisters slept in another bed in the other room, and my other brother had a cot in their room.  It was not easy trick to sneak past our parents as the beds were against the wall and the parents slept on the outside.    To get up without waking our parents we had to craw out over the foot of the bed then quietly slip over to the other bed and try to wake the other one without waking either parent.   We usually did it with a tiny tug on the blanket and a whisper of the others name.   At that point we would be joined by our sibling who also climbed out over the foot of the bed.    We would then slip down the stairs to see what Santa had left.   It was never much as we did not have much money.   Usually a doll for me and a truck for my brother, and if it was a really good year sometimes we also got a game, but any other presents were clothes and things we needed whether we wanted them or not.  
     The funny part was on those rare mornings we were not awake by 6 am.    If we were not awake by 6 am on Christmas or Easter morning we would hear our dad say Janie , Roy Santa Clause has been here.   At that point we would hear our mom yell at our dad "FRANCIS! LET THEM SLEEP!", but it was too late soon as dad called out names we were up and on our way down the steps.    My dad would just laugh when mom yelled at him.    Times were I thought he enjoyed it more then we did.   A short time later our older sisters and brother would follow us down the steps.   Christmas morning was always a joy back them with my whole family around us in the house.   It did not matter how cold it was outside in the living-room  with my family around me it seemed warm.   
      When I was little I used to pick the ornaments off the tree so Mom took to putting the breakable ones up too high for me to  reach.   The tree never went up till Christmas eve back then it made it all the more special.  Most of our decorations were home made ones.   I had no way of knowing at that time when mom would yell at dad to let us sleep it was because she had not been in bed long.   Those were happy days.    We did not have much but we had love.
     When I was 10 all that changed.   I should have been the best Christmas I ever had.   I got the one thing I wanted for Christmas that year , but I never thought I would really get.   I wanted a sewing machine.   My oldest sister was seeing a friend of our dads and he got me a sewing machine that year.   I was setting there trying to get it to work when the call came in.   Our mom's dad had died that very morning.   There is nothing that will take the happy off  a great present faster then being told you just lost your grandpa.  I am the type to over think things and that has bothered me for decades.   My big brother had gotten married the year before, and my next to oldest sister had just gotten married that very Christmas eve, and we could not find her.   She had lived with our grandparents for a time before she married, and was on her honeymoon so they told no one what they were going.   We feared we may have to bury him before we found my sister, but lucky she showed up at our aunts house the next day and she did not know my sister did not know .   She offered her sympathy to my sister for her loss.    My sister immediately called mom, and they cut their honeymoon short.
     In 1982 my dad died just one week before Thanksgiving, and I was still depressed by Christmas.    Then about a decade later I lost the first man I ever really loved 3 days before Christmas.   He was not mine anymore we had broken up about a year before, but his death was still a shock to me.   Then about 6 years ago I lost a very good friend to a condition that could have been treated the first week in Dec. 
     Now this year someone I once loved very much turned her back on me and pout me on ignore so there is no way to fix the relationship.   We used to spend hrs on mic and on line window shopping.   I miss those times.    She has not spoken to me sense not long after my last birthday.    What makes it hard is all the things she sent me that brought such joy when she sent them to me.   There is no room in my house where there is not something she sent me, and when I went to my shed to get some Christmas decorations I saw the Christmas tree she got for me the first year I knew her.   It was a beautiful thing she did for me that year and so unexpected.   Best presents are those you do not expect.   I thought she was a very good friend, and it still hurts me she will not talk to me because I was being myself.   Parts of me wants her to forgive me and part of me is so angry she will not forgive me being who i am not who she wants me to be.
     So you see my emotions run from joy to sadness and tears, and I have no way to control it  .