jane_and.the_dragon

 
registro: 15/04/2014
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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HERE WE GO AGAIN

     In past years I have mentioned about my brother's family and the bad things that have happened to them.  In 2016 both my brother and his wife died in 3 months of each other.  In 2019 his youngest son also died leaving only his oldest son and his wife and kids.  Last night his wife's father and step mom were in a car accident.   They both survived, but we do not know the full amount of damages yet.    I really do not get it why so much bad things have hit that branch of the family tree.  Others of us have had some bad things over the years, but nothing like they have had.  I wish there was something I could do to make all this bad luck they have had stop.   It sucks for one family to have so many bad things happen so closely together.
     We all know bad things happens and death is unavoidable, but it makes it easier to take when the bad things are more spaced out.  If you could all say a prayer for my nieces parents it would be appreciated.

FORGETING THE PAST

   It is so hard to forget the past even when to do so would be better for you.   The end of this month will mark the 3 year anniversary of a fight that lost me a good friend/   It was an ugly fight.  I felt blocked in by her and another friend.   I wanted it to stop, so I said something that I thought would make it stop.   It did unfortunately it worked too well she proceeded to put me on ignore, and that is where I have been sense.   I need to forget she was ever my friend sense she has made it clear she wants no more contact with me, but sometimes it is hard to forget people you care about. I do pretty well not thinking about it most of the time, but this time of year it always creeps back into my mind.  It was shortly before my birthday we had the fight.  I remember that because a week or 2 before the fight she said she would paint me a snow scene  for my birthday.   Needless to say after the fight I did not get it, I can not say as I blamed her. What I said was pretty harsh, but they would not stop when I told them to stop.  I felt I had to do something more drastic to make it stop.
     Most of my friends know how emotional I get when I am stressed out, and forgive me when I get worked up like that, but she cut all contact so I never had the chance to try to make it right.   I really need to figure out a way to let it go.   Repeatedly reliving it is not doing anyone any good.   Thing is sometimes it is not that easy to let go of emotional memories.

HISTORY REPEATS

     We have all heard those that forget history are condemned to repeat it.   I have recently seen events setting up in a pattern that will cause history to repeat itself.   Without giving too much detail, something happened several years back, I forgave the other person involved in the event.   But I never forget when someone hurts me, because I do not want to be hurt the same way again.   Thing is what is going on now is not going to happen to me, but to someone I care about.   I am not the type person to stay in my own lane when I see someone about to be hit by a truck.   I am the type to try to pull them out of the way, so they do not get hit by the truck that hit me in the past ( metaphorically ) .  
     If you saw someone about to fall into a trap you yourself once fell into would you just let it happen or would you try to protect them? 

ANOTHER TRADITION ON THE CHOPING BLOCK

     I just heard on the news today Peta wants to retire Punxsutawney Phil and replace him with a robot.  For the most part I love Peta's work they look out for animals rights, and that is a good thing.  When animals are being abused they need someone to speak up for the.   However I do not think  Punxsutawney Phil is in need of their protection.  He is a beloved public figure and brings much revenue to Punxsutawney Pa.   It is called groundhog not anachronistic animal day.   There have been many traditions fall by the way side in the 61 years I have been on this planet, and some were for the better.   They say the robot what would replace Phil would have actual weather predicting capabilities.   I have to laugh at that as the ACTUAL weather men do not even predict the weather right all the time. 
     I think if they do take the real groundhog out  of groundhog day that Punxsutawney, will have a huge drop in tourist income.   People come there to see the groundhog every Feb 2.   Do you reallllllllllly think people are gonna get out of their nice warm beds on Feb 2  to see a robot groundhog on groundhog day?
     Of course everyone knows the groundhog does not really predict the weather.  Come on think about it he will see his shadow every year, because even if it is totally dark outside with all those camera lights shining on him he will definitely have a shadow, but it is tradition, and a party like atmosphere.  
     So what is next artificial trees for arbor day?   Who remembers when we celebrated Washington an Lincoln's birthdays separately?   Now they are clumped together as presidents day. Why can't people just leave some of the traditions alone?

I AM BACK

     As some of you know I was in the hospital for a week.   I am still not feeling the best, but at least I am home.   Hospitals are great when you are really ill, but when you start to feeling better the cardiac wing( where I was ) is really irritating.   They have alarms on EVERYTHING  the bed the chair by the bed the iv machines, the heart monitors.   You name it they have an alarm for it..  I guess that is a good thing, because I was told many people fell on that floor.    So the bed alarms are to tell the nurses if anyone tries to get up.  The problem with it is two times my bed alarm went off and I was not even trying to get up .   I was in there nearly a week when one of the new nurses decided to bring up the third rail on the bed, which made me feel boxed in.   I tend to sleep with a foot off the edge of the bed , and when she did that the panel on it would not allow it.
     Don"t get me wrong most of the nursing staff was really nice and patient with me when  I was there, only a couple of them made me wonder why they went into nursing at all.   When I first got there I was too sick to care about anything, but as I started to get better I started asking questions about the meds they had me on and the doctor did not like that.   Doctors are smart  and most of them mean well, but I have noticed some of them do not want to listen to the patient.   It is like ok we have this problem  and this med has been good for this prob in other people so let's use it, BUT it is really ingratiating when you try to tell the doc you have had a prob with some med in the past and they do not want to hear it.   You are with your body 24/7 they should listen when you try to tell them something is a problem for your body.
     Lately I have been worried about side effects, and my worrying about that does not help my anxiety at all.   I think some of the meds are messing with my imunities in my mouth.  My tongue is soreish and has white on it.   Good news is I got a doc appointment tomorrow.  I will ask her then.

 Ohhh and on another subject my friend that was not responding to the phone when I called is at the hospital today she called me on the way there her water broke and her little girl may be here by now.