Have you ever know someone that hated to be looked at so bad they thought everyone was staring at them. Even if someone just glanced in their direction they would think that person was watching them. I have several relatives and friends like that. I am going to tell you about a few. Lets start with my friend Janet. Her paranoia about people looking at her started pretty young. I remember being at the lay away department of a local store when she was 12 with her and her mom. Her mom was getting her a bike. We were sitting on the bench in the area and her mom was standing at the counter. There was a couple there waiting also. The guy was very nervous and kept pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. The woman was trying to maintain eye contact with him as he moved. He was between her and us. Janet said to me about that woman watching her. I said where? when I looked at what was upsetting her I realized that the lady probably did not even see us she was trying to keep up with her mans pacing and occasionally happened to be looking in our general direction as he moved farther across the area and back. I said to her she is not looking at you she is trying to keep eye contact with the guy she is talking to, and he keeps moving. I told her if she had not been staring at her she would not have even known she was looking our way.
My niece and her mother do the same things they will see someone looking their way and assume they are looking at them. The other day a car passed us on the road and my niece thought the passenger was giving her a dirty look just because the lady looked to see how close her driver was passing by us. What my niece saw as a dirty look to her I saw as the woman being annoyed with the person driving for cutting it too close to her side of the car, but again if my niece has been watching the road and or just the car passing she would not have noticed the woman even looking our way.
This brings me to last night I was talking to a friend who was out at a rest area. Apparently a security person passed by several times and according to my friend was giving them look. I said the same thing to my friend that I tell everyone IF YOU ARE NOT LOOKING AT THEM YOU WILL NOT EVEN SEE IF THEY LOOK IN YOUR DIRRECTION, BUT SENSE YOU NOTICE IT ENOUGH TO BOTHER YOU APPARENTLY YOU ARE THE ONE STRING AT THEM. It is like my mom always said if someone accuses you of doing something you are not it is because they themselves have been doing it.
Now I do not mean be oblivious to people around you. That is unsafe. You should defiantly notice people around you. and if they are getting too close to your personal space., and always trust your instants about if you should get away from them or not. But do not obsess about how many times someone looking in your general direction has done it and certainly do not think everyone looking your way is staring at you. They may not even see you. They may be looking at someone or something in front of or behind you that just so happened to be in the same line of vision as you.
It is also possible to do something else if it REALLY bugs you. You can politely walk up to the person and ask them politely if they are staring at you and if they say yes ask them why. They may see something you do not like food on your teeth, your make up messed up, something in your hair or possibly someone else sneaking up on you from behind and you did not see them because you were too busy obsessing about the person in front of you. Would that not be a stone cold bummer if you were so worried about someone in front of you that had no intention of hurting you that you did not see the person behind you that was. lol Do not think that could not happen. I was in my yard one time hanging clothes up and my sister was sitting on my porch talking to me. I was not paying any attention to anyone or anything but her and my wash. Suddenly she turned white as a sheet. I said what is wrong you are white. She whispers to me he has a gun. I turned around to see a kid I had know sense he was in kindergarten waving a gun at someone in a car right in front of my house. I was not worried I knew him most of his life and knew he was not going to shoot anyone, but I did not know the other guy so we decided to go inside till they left.
Just remember one thing next time you want to yell at someone for staring at you just remember IF YOU WERE NOT LOOKING AT THEM YOU WOULD NOT SEE THEM LOOKING AT YOU.
