I have a brother-in-law who is really great USUALLY! But a few minutes ago he did something that really made me angry. My sister called me because she forgot to call me back last night when she had to get off the phone with me when he called for her. We were talking for a couple min today, and he came in and asked her who she was talking to she said it was me and I heard him say WHAT FOR?. My anger went from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. I told my sister I DO NOT NEED A REASON TO TALK TO MY SISTER THAT SHE WAS MY SISTER BEFORE SHE WAS HIS WIFE. She called me back and apologized about what he said. I told her I make a allowances for the rare occasion he acts rudely, because he is usually good to me and rarely acts like this. HOWEVER to imply I need any reason to talk to my sister is wayyyyyyyyy out of line and I told her he needs to not take that attitude with me again or I will have to give him a reality check like I did my brother a few years ago.
The problem with trying to teach him the same lesson I taught my brother in the way I taught it to him may not be a good idea. Fact of the matter is my sister and brother-in-law are very good to me and I do appreciate it. If I tried to give him a reality check like I did my brother it may not get the effect I want. He may see it as me being ungrateful for all they do for me, and that is not what it is. I told my sister that implying I need a reason to talk to my sister will not be tolerated, and if he keeps that up it could get ugly.
I realize he is stressed out too he does not have a lot of family left and the ones he has are ill, so yea he is under a lot of pressure. I have been quite stressed out myself, and 2 stressed people together is never a good combination. I cried a little at his attitude, but I may have a better way to deal with this. 
First I may let karma deal with his messed up attitude to me. Karma always settles the score and equalizes things. To add some guilt to this thing , because my sister said she told him about the way he acted and he said he thought she had already talked to me ( if that were true then I could see where the attitude came from they were wanting to mow the grass before the rain) to add to the guilt he will probably feel I think I will get them something nice for their wedding anniversary next month. You all may not be aware of this but sometimes a well placed present is a more effective weapon the a gun. It is all in the timing. If someone treats you bad and you give them a present after they do it makes them feel ashamed of themselves for treating you bad when you clearly love them or you would not have gotten them a present.
Some of you may not believe it to be true, but I assure you it is. You would be surprised what kind of contrition you can get out of someone that did you wrong if you just give them a well timed present after they do. They start beating themselves up for acting that way IF THEY LOVE YOU TOO. Very soon they are treating you great again and you do not have to fight with them to get them to see what they did. ONE WORNING ON THIS: It only works on people that really care about you in their hearts. If the person never really liked you and was just putting on an act, the gesture will be wasted.
An important thing to remember if someone acts in a way that is not in keeping with their core character, there may be something weighing heavily on their mind that has them stressed to the max too. My brother-in-law is not the type to talk about his feelings when he is stressed out. He keeps it all inside. I think that is a learned behavior because of his mother. She had a couple of nervous breakdowns. One such break happened after the death of her youngest son. He fell out of the car when it made a turn in the days before seat belts, and his head struck the road and killed him. As I am told that was when she had her first break. I was told she had at least 2 more after that, and I think my brother-in-law kept things to himself so as to not upset his mom. I think he was scared she would have another one. I will forgive my brother-in-law, because he makes it worth my wild to do so he is really good to me USUALLY. but that does not negate the fact his words hurt today.
It would help a lot if he himself has apologized, but I have NEVER know him to do so, and do not anticipate that changing any time soon. Bottom line when you love someone you accept them the way they are.
