I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and more and more my thoughts have been drifting back nearly 10 years. In 2006 I was very new to the net and I was checking out the games in the old yahoo. Late one night I came across a man from California in a literati room. We chatted and I found out he was originally from about 20 miles from where I live now. He was very charming and educated. He was a collage professor who loved literati. He was divorced with 2 sons and was looking to get married again. As time went by he and I became very close he was 80% of everything I had wanted in a man. It was the other 20% that kept me from marring him when he asked.
As the relationship grew colder a side of him came out that I had not seen before. He was emotionally abusive to me and I will admit it brought out things in me that were not nice. Over the next year all I got done was prove I did not do things he accused me of, and to this day I have a bad reaction if someone says I did something I did not do. He messed me up so bad I nearly killed myself. Ironically it was another friend of ours betraying me that changed my personality back to what it was when I met Marc. In a half an hr nearly all the personality changes Marc had caused in me went away and I was my true self again. It took 6 months but he and I got to where we could be just friends again without hurting each other.
I learned one good thing that I have kept from that relationship. I learned how to forgive. Before I met Marc when I got mad at someone that was it the friendship was over. After I met Marc and saw how he could forgive anyone who wanted it I learned how to also. I have a couple very good friends that did some really mean things to me in the past, but when they said sorry they meant it and I forgave them. Marc taught me life is too short to stay mad at people and you only hurt yourself when you do, because the people you are mad at do not care if you are mad at them or not. So with spring here I want to dedicate this to Marc, a man who was not only a great deal of pain in my life but also the one that taught me to forgive those who do me wrong.
The truly sad thing is Marc died one year 3 days before Christmas. All his drinking had finally caught up with him, Had he lived to June he was going to get married to a woman who whom he was very happy.
So here is my advice to everyone because life is too short: Love well , Laugh hard, Forgive human flaws, and never let what someone else does that hurts you keep hurting you after it is over. I am going to put a song on my wall if I can find it you may want to check it out.
jane_and.the_dragon
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Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are.
ht
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