Well here we go people the beginning of a new year. I hope it is better then the last year. I really am not sure I could take another year like the last one. It is ironic in December of 2015 I had such high hopes for 2016. My brother and I were getting closer then we had been in years. I really thought we were going to get back to where we had been when we were kids. My hopes were sort lived. In January he told us he had cancer of the mouth and that it was in the lymphoid in his neck. I knew it was not good. They did surgery chemo and radiation but it was pointless.
In Aug he got worse and was taken back to the hospital. They told us he had a day to a week to live. They were not wrong 6 days later he died, but he got to go home the night before he died by ambulance. He died at home with his family around, and he still knew everyone till his death. I guess that was a small blessing. A short time after my brother was diagnosed I found out my favorite cousin also had cancer. She died in Oct, About a week after my cousin my brother's wife also died they say it was a heart attack. Most of us think it was more a broken heart. Just days before her death she told my sister she did not know if she would ever get over our brother"s death. They had been together sense he was 1968. I was amazed how well their kids and grand kids recovered losing them both. I find myself bursting into tears from time to time even now. We had the Christmas gathering on Dec 17 at my sisters house. Everyone seemed to have a good time and my anxiety stayed mostly low so even I had some fun. Christmas eve my younger brother called to see if I wanted to go to his house for Christmas dinner. I was going to go but when I woke up I was really dizzy. My head was spinning for a bit I thought I may end up at the hospital. I did not want to ruin my brothers holiday so I took one of my nerve pills and I went back to bed. By around 3 pm I was feeling enough better to get up. My neighbor brought me over some food. I called my brother to tell him I was a bit better. I was kinda depressed to realize I was missing his grand kids opening their presents. That is something I miss most on Christmas day seeing the kids open their presents.
My anxiety seems to be staying under control fairly well. I am hoping next year will be a better year. Most of all if I could make one wish for the new year it would be for everyone to make it through it alive and healthy. If they do no matter what else happens I will feel we had a pretty good year. So here's to 2017 may it be 100% better then 2016.
jane_and.the_dragon
registro:
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are.
ht
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