It is strange how easily people say they love you. I do it myself, but how many of us really mean it? It is those of us that really mean it that get hurt by those that are just saying it because it sounds good or they think that is what we want to hear.
I would much rather someone be truthful with me then to say they love me when they really do not. Even when truth is cold and hard it still hurts less than a lie told and revealed, even if the lie was told to try to save someone’s feelings.
I will give you an example: I was very close to someone on the net about a decade ago. When I met him he appeared to be 80% of everything I had looked for in a man. I tell everyone it was the other 20% that screwed it up.
It took him 6 months to get me to trust him enough to show him my picture. ( As I have said before I am a psychic empath , and I can sometimes feel others feelings. That happened this day.) From the minute he saw my pictures I knew he was disappointed. You see he was one of those guys that did not like heavy women, and I am far from thin. When he opened the file I felt his disappointment roll over me like a wave. Even before he said a work I knew he was disappointed. I said to him what you think,( desperately hoping at this point he would tell me the truth. You see when you are psychic and you already know how someone feels if they lie to you about it EVEN IF THEY ARE TRYING TO SAVE YOUR FEELINGS it hurts worse than the truth ever could have. If they tell you the truth you know they respect you, if they lie for whatever reason you think it is because not only do they find you ugly but they do not respect you either. ) He was trying to protect my feelings in his own way but the lie hurt worse than the truth ever could have because I already knew the truth. I was hurt and angry. The best thing for him to have said would have been well you are not what I am looking for but we can still be friends. Had he done that he would have saved us BOTH months of hell. He and I made up a short time before he died but it was a long road back to friends.
It was not that one event that caused the major riff in our relationship that was caused when I found out he showed one of his other girls my picture without my permission. We used to joke about him having an on line harem and most of us got along with each other fine, but this one girl thought he was her private property even though they were not together in real life. He showed her my picture what she did not know is he had showed me hers too, so when she said I was morbidly obese < her way of saying fat lol . Replied well at least I look like a girl and not like a guy in drag. She did she looked like a guy in drag. Marc lost it when I said that he was like omg, at which point I turned my attention to him and told him it was his fault for showing pictures that were meant for his eyes only.
People do not realize how much drama they cause when they tell or give info to someone else that was meant for them only, but some are finding out now. I was with a group of people a while back. For a long time it was lots of fun. The problems started when people started doing 3 way calling without telling the other person that there was a third on the line, so someone would be listening to a call that was never meant for them. I had someone do this to me years ago so I know the damage it can cause. What people do not realize is people vent to their friends and when they vent they say things they do not mean which is why the person they are talking about should not be listening to the convo. It is not like they really mean what they are saying, but the third party listening to a convo they were never meant to hear gets hurt, and the drama starts. My mom uses to say this long before 3 way calling and the internet: She said, Ease droppers hear no good of themselves. That is nearly always true. Another thing my mom used to say was if someone accuses you of doing something you not only did not do you never thought of doing it is because they themselves are doing it. < That really does not have anything to do with the main subject of this blog but I think some will get why I put it there.
Another thing that causes love to turn to hate is misunderstandings. So many people in today’s world will hear something someone says but not understand the words so they will put in what they thought they meant instead of what they really meant. The thing they preserve is not at all what the speaker meant. It is what the hearer assumed they meant. Let me give you an example : When my niece was young she overheard me telling a neighbor that before my sister in law got pregnant she was very petite . My niece told her dad I said her mom was fat. My brother asked me about it I said no I never said that. My niece said in a sure voice you told Mrs. Mills that. At that point I remembered what I had really told Mrs. Mills and I cleaned it up even going as far as to ask the neighbor in front of my brother what I had said. I told my niece I had not said fat I said petite she was insistent that they were the same thing. I told her the definition of the word I used, and told her in the future if she is quoting me use the words I used not the words she thought I meant. Not having told that very boring story to my point. My niece was like 10 at the time she can be overlooked, but alleged adults should know better than to misquote someone, because it causes needed drama. Too much drama can also turn love to hate.
