It has been a while sense I have written anything. With Christmas approaching I find my head full of memories of past Christmases. Some of the memories are good ones some are not so good. The ones that hurt the most are the ones of people I have lost in my life. It does not matter how I lost them, some died, and some moved on without me, and a couple I moved on without.
I feel everyone that touches your life for good or for bad is there for a reason. There is something you re meant to learn either by their presence in your life or by the way you lose them. A few people stick out profoundly. I had a friend that was like a sister to me. I even introduced her to someone one time as my sister. I thought she would always be part of my life, but she moved up in the world got a good education and a better job. Now she does not even stop to say hi when she drives by my house. I have no clue what caused her to be like this. Her sisters are not like that. When they see me not only do they stop to talk, her one sister usually hugs me. I saw here just last week. That may be why this is on my mind now. I had another friend that from the first time I met her it was like I had known her forever. She was very good to me MOST OF THE TIME, and I miss her. The thing is I have only myself to blame for losing her. We got into a fight one day, and I said something I knew would hurt her to make her back off. Unfortunately for me not only did I make her back off that day. She stepped out of my life forever. That will be 3 years ago in March and still sometimes I morn the loss. She is still alive , but apparently because of what I said in anger I am dead to her. Well you know what they say about acting in haste and not thinking things through first.
Three days before Christmas will be the anniversary of the death of my first real love. He and I had broke up about a year before his death, but we had managed to regain our friendship before he died. Had he lived he would have been married in June of the following year to a wonderful woman who was really good for him. Even though we parted I still miss him this time of year.
I guess truth be know I have not really had a great Christmas sense 1969. My grandpa died Christmas day. I was just a kid and I was setting there playing with the best toy I ever got when the phone call came in Grandpa was dead. Nothing like the death of a family member to take the edge off a happy feeling.
Enough sad stuff. I am going to try to be happy this Christmas. I had a pretty good year this year. I am going to think good thoughts, and try to push the sad ones out. I am hoping for another good year next year. HAPPY THOUGHTS lol.
I doubt the people that are no longer in my life that are still alive will ever see this blog BUT if the do I hope they know I miss them. I hope everyone has a lovely holiday. Remember one thing HOLD ON TIGHT TO THOSE YOU LOVE we never know how long they will be in our lives.