HopeK429

So I was thinking today and watching and listening to people around me and I noticed people judge you on every single thing you do good or bad and we have all been guilty of it including myself but it's wrong and I find my self judging without justification very little if any these days , if it feels wrong then most times it is wrong and dam it just feels so wrong to me to even think it on less say the judgemental words, we should all stop and think at least a second b4 we speak .
Some of us measure our life through money and accolades. Others measure it through beauty and popularity. Others measure it through family and relationships. Others measure it through service and good deeds.
Chances are you measure it through some combination of all of these things, but one in particular matters most to you. One stands out and determines your happiness more than others., I wrote that it’s important to measure ourselves by our own internal metrics as much as possible. The more external our metrics for our own value and self-worth, the more we screw everything up for ourselves.But there’s more,The way you measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure you.If you measure your life by your family relationships, then you will measure others by the same standard – how close their family is to them. If they’re distant from their family or don’t call home enough, you’ll judge them as deadbeats, ungrateful or irresponsible, regardless of their lives or their history.If you measure your life by how much fun and partying you can have, then you will measure others by the same standard – how much fun and partying they have. If they prefer to stay home and watch Star Trek: Next Generation reruns every weekend, you’ll judge them as inhibited, scared of the world, lame and soulless, regardless of their personality or needs.If you measure your life by how much you’ve traveled and experienced, then you will measure other people by the same standard – how worldly they’ve become. If they prefer to stay home and enjoy the comforts of routine, then you will judge them as incurious, ignorant, unambitious, regardless of what their aspirations really are.The yardstick we use for ourselves is the yardstick we use for the world.If we believe that we’re hard workers and we earned everything we have, then we will believe that everyone else earned what they have. And if they have nothing, it’s because they earned nothing.If we believe that we’re victimized by society and deserve justice, then we will believe that others are victims of society and deserve justice as well. If we believe our value comes from faith in a higher power, then we will view others by their faith (or lack of faith) in a higher power. If we measure ourselves by our intellect and use of reason, then we will judge others through the same lens.This is why people who are entrepreneurs tend to think that everyone else should be an entrepreneur as well. This is why people who are born-again Christians tend to believe that everyone should find salvation through Jesus Christ. This is why hardcore atheists try to logically argue about something that has nothing to do with logic. It’s why racists often claim that everyone else is racist too. They just don’t know it. It’s why sexist men justify their sexism by saying women are worse and sexist women justify their sexism by saying men are worse.This isn’t to say that judging is wrong. There are plenty of values worth judgment. I judge people who are violent and malicious. But that is a reflection of who I am. I judge violence and malice within myself. Those are traits that I will not tolerate within myself, therefore I do not tolerate them in others. I lived tha tlife once and I will not live it again,fear of abuse is why I stay single. ,But that is a choice I am making.And were are all making choices whether we realize it or not. And we should make those choices consciously and not on auto-pilot.It’s why people who think they’re ugly look for all of the ways people around them are ugly and why people who are lazy and slack off look for all of the ways others cut corners and slack off as well. It’s why corrupt officials choose to be corrupt: because they assume everyone else is as corrupt as they are. It’s why cheaters choose to cheat: because they assume everybody else is going to cheat if given the chance too.It’s why those who can’t trust are the ones who can’t be trusted.Many of us adopt our own internal yardsticks not through conscious choice but through the shaming we’re subjected to. I love the quote, “Everyone is either trying to prove or disprove who they were in high school,” because for many of us, our yardsticks are defined by how people viewed us growing up. We develop a fixation in one area of our lives because it’s the area which we felt people judged us the most. The high school cheerleader who is afraid to lose her looks as an adult. The poor kid obsessed with becoming rich. The loser who wants to throw the biggest parties. The slacker who wants to prove to everyone how smart he is.A big part of our development is to recognize our own fixation, to recognize how we measure ourselves and consciously choose our metric for ourselves.But another big part of development is to recognize that everyone has their own metric. And that metric is likely not going to be the same as ours. And that’s (usually) fine. Most metrics people choose are fine. Even if they’re not the same metrics you would choose for yourself.You may view the world through family values, but most people do not. You may view the world through the metric of attractiveness, but most people do not. You may view the world through the metric of freedom and worldliness, but most people do not. You may view the world through the positivity and friendliness, but most people do not.And that’s simply part of being human. Accepting that others measure themselves and the world differently than you do is one of the most important steps to consciously choosing the right relationships for yourself. It’s necessary for developing strong boundaries and deciding who you want to be a part of your life and who you do not. You may not accept a person’s ideas or behaviors.But you must accept that you cannot change a person’s values for them. Just as we must choose our own measurement by ourselves and for ourselves. They must do it by themselves and for themselves.

The perfect person. There are too many people out there this day and age worrying about finding the perfect person. You endlessly search, you'll try meeting new people, you take risks, yet you’ve been hurt so many times that you don’t let anyone in. You’re afraid of failures and letdowns. You're afraid of lies and deceit. Who is real and who’s not. You doubt. You question.You pick apart everyone you come across, trying to mix and match pieces you liked about previous people you’ve filled and shared your life with, yet could never fully fill that void you so desperately tried to create in a perfect person. You place too much hope, faith, and burden on everyone you come across because you’re so eager to find that flawless person, constantly searching for that one person who will bring your life to some sort of meaningful culmination that doesn’t exist.What a lot of people dont understand is that true love won’t be at first sight. It won’t even be at first impression. Overtime it's actually built. From both of your flaws. From the deepest of trauma and the happiest of times. From the failures and lessons of both people. The flaws that make you who you are, the moments you’ve experienced, good and bad, better and worse, from rock bottom to the very top. They all have their place in time. In healing. In moving forward. In rebuilding, both together and alone. People keep trading in real value for things you think are easily replaceable. It’s an illusion. The promise of better is an illusion. It’s the biggest lie there is. Better is a relative to where you are in your life and your path of healing. The harsh battles are where the deepest of bonds are created with one another. Suffering as one, as a team, as a whole, as a unit, or as a single entity. This is where true connection is formed. Your foundation will crumble time and time again if the brick and mortar are made up of your combined trials and errors aren’t there. Physical contact and empty promises, promises forged from delusions of grandeur will only get you so far, before your lack of a foundation causes you to collapse in on yourself time and time again.Don’t be afraid of the building. Don’t be afraid of the pain. Embrace the shortcomings. Embrace the cold. Embrace life. Once you have, you can sit back and marvel at the failures and losses, together.Without them, how would we ever know just how thankful we should be for this mystery we call life.True vulnerability in the form of a mirror image of yourself is where you will find it. Fall in love with yourself, and you’ll find this person. Your truest reflection. Don’t look for someone you can be perfect with. Look for someone you can build with. Someone you can be vulnerable with. Someone you can be your ugliest self with and still be accepted. Take my advice and find someone you can genuinely grow with to the point where at the moment you become in their presence, it feels like you're finally home,Maybe its just me .... but I don’t have the time to entertain fake people in my life. You and I are worth more than that.

Welcome to the world today.....
Where sex is free and love is expensive. Where losing a phone is more painful than losing a loved one, Where modernization means nudity, profanity, and if you don't drink/smoke dope you're out of fashion/style. Where boys stay boys and never want to become men, and girls become men to rule over them. Where changing genders is accepted as if you were changing your socks Where if you don't fool your partner it's because you're not clever enough. Where the bathrooms have become photography studios and Men want to pretend to be women and cant figure out they are men and need to stay the hell outta womens bathrooms where lil girls are.... Where pizza delivery is faster than the emergency response. Where people fear the thieves and the terrorists more than God. Where Worshipping God is difficult. Where temples turn into dating pools. Where lies become realities. Where the ladies fear pregnancy more than h.i.v., and babies are murdered so the ladies can escape. Where people become toxic when they speak the truth or you're resisting to turn from what is actually toxic. Where perspectives and clothes decide the value of a person. Where money is more important than family and God. Where children are ready to leave their families for their love of the moment, rebellion and spite. Where the marriage covenant is no longer sacred or taken seriously. Where it's easier to play house than to build a home. Where jumping from partner to partner for sex or attention is easier than waiting for the right partner for life. Where love is a game, Where evil no longer exists. , people just look right past it and accept it for what it is..Whoever plays with the mind always gets happiness and who plays with the heart always hurts. Modernity, love and liquid education...The new generation of humanity. Welcome to a world where were all Fckd

There is a symbolism in the fires we set; in the bridges we burn with intention, to the ground. We stand there, staring blankly at the rubble and debris. We take comfort in the fact, that we’re on the other side of it alone; that no one can harm us now. When the one person you trust most with your life is the one who slowly took it away day by day mark by mark it puts us on guard and every time we let someone get close enough, to feel the warmth of our light, it feels like all they want to do, is snuff it out. They don’t know what to do with our hurricane souls, so they try everything in their power, to water us down; to dismiss or to minimize our pain; to silence our thoughts somehow. Relationships always leave us feeling caged. We feel bent, and broken; we feel wounded and sometimes even afraid. And no matter how many times we try to explain it to them, this sadness inside us, still remains. We are left there in silence; the aftermath of such violence. We are left there all alone, to handle our rage. A pain born of fire; the object of horrific unwanted desire. A fierceness born, from forcibly living, inside of a cage. We didn’t ask for this to be our story. We’ve done everything in our power, to rewrite our history. But you cannot change the past; you can only change the future. And happiness just cant last, when your wounds are never sutured. They want us to heal, without feeling a thing; without hearing the story of what shattered our souls. They tell us it’s over now; that it’s all just in the past. They say to get over it; to move on with our lives; as if freedom is something we could ever truly grasp. We can barely breathe, most days of our life. We are fighting these demons, that the monsters left inside. They handed us their darkness, and we’re supposed to just instinctively know, how to turn it back into light. They murdered our soul; they shattered our innocence, and most of the world around us, doesn’t want us to put up a fight. They want us to be quiet. They want us to simmer down. They want us to handle this massacre inside us, without making a single sound; without speaking the depth of our pain, out loud. So you see, there is intention, in these bridges we burn down. We don’t just set them on fire with a match; we incinerate them, to the ground. We make sure that when we burn them, they can never be rebuilt; that we will never be able to cross them again. We keep ourselves safe. In our cage, we remain. It’s exactly where they wanted us, in the end. In our hollowed out shell, we are deathly silent. We are violently deconstructed. We keep burning these bridges to symbolically show, that our lives can only be reconstructed.in our own time and it takes years not weeks or months... We cannot heal, what we do not acknowledge; and they will not acknowledge our pain. So we stand here alone, on the other side of burning bridges, with the smell of burning ash, in our veins. We mutilate and burn our own flesh, in the flames. This is what abuse and mental and physical trauma does, to a domestic abuse survivor. This is the destruction, that it leaves in its wake. We are chaos, born of hellfire. We are the very definition, of debilitating pain. A pain that cant be seen by others only felt within ourselves.. And as long as no one allows us to speak our holy truth, we’ll be trapped all alone here, in our shame. And in the end, we’ll have nothing left to show for ourselves, but this burning flesh, and a cage.”

"The God-shaped hole in all of us is a voracious beast when stuffed full of the world. It'll take you to places you never wanted to go and keep you there longer than you ever wanted to stay."